Pandoran Truth or Dare!
by Adventus
Summary: First ever Avatar Truth or Dare fic! Review and send dares or questions for characters! My first story!
1. Chapter 1

Hello! First fanfic, so review and tell me what you think of my writing abilities and my story!

Be Nice!

I don't own Avatar, but Katt is mine, and i AM Adventus.

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Greetings to you readers of fan fiction out there. I come to you, bringing with me the great sub- culture that is truth or dare writing.

It's awesome, believe me.

I have collected all of your favourite Avatar characters in my humble mansion, ready for their torture…

Jake: Torture? I just wanted my deep fried burrito.

Neytiri: Not until you finish your teylu!

Jake: [sobs]

Adventus: Yes it's random, and yes I'm insane. That's why I got a helper. Say hello to Katt, the cat/na'vi/human hybrid with the brain of a 7 year old who believed me when I said the pay was good…

Katt: Wa?

Adventus: Uhh, hey look there's a cow! [points in the distance]

Katt: Oh no, not the cow! [runs into a window] ow…

Norm: What's her problem?

Adventus: She got trampled by cows when she was five.

Norm: Lol

Quaritch: Shut up Mickey Mouse! [Just look at norm's ears while his an avatar!]

Norm: Or what?

Quaritch: [Pulls out a gun and shoots Norm in the foot]

Norm: Owwww! WAAAA!

Adventus: To get to the point, I will take requests from your reviews, and will make our marvelous characters, Katt, or even me [be nice!] do either a dare, or answer your questions.

Katt: Or I'll eat you! [Smiles widely]

Adventus: Thank you, Katt.

* * *

Review as fast as humanly possible, and this story will roll!

P.S. I made Katt up on Christmas, so don't say i based her off TopKat90.


	2. First Dares!

Good day readers!

I've had to make a new chapter early, because I'm not getting enough reviews! Dude!

I've had over 150 vistors to this story, so come on guys, review! For the time being, I will accept anonymous reviews!

I don't own Avatar, or it's characters, but everything else in this story is mine!

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Adventus: Ah back to the dares… only 5? Oh man.

Jake: [puts his hand up] Can we go now?

Adventus: [throws a chair at Jake] Never! I can still make a story out of 5 requests!

Jake: Damn it!

Adventus: [turns to katt] Could you please read out Pali Makto's review Katt?

Katt: Do I get a fish?

Adventus: Yes, but only salmon! Were on a low budget here.

* * *

_Pali Makto_

_Oh I have one..  
How about Quaritch has to do 100 press ups in 30 seconds while Neytiri is tickling him with a feather._

_Also how about Jake has to wrestle a thanator?_

_Lastly, how about Norm has to try to outdo Ninat in a singing match :)_

_

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_

Adventus: [throws a salmon at katt] Excellent! Some good quality dares! [turns to quaritch] Read that!

Quaritch: [smiles] Easy!

Neytiri: Do I have to go near him? The skxawng has bad body odor!

Katt: You have to do the dare! Otherwise...uh[turns to adventus] what happens if they don't do the dare?

Adventus: [smiles] We get to make our own dare for them!

Neytiri: [frowns] Fine.

Adventus: On with the dare!

**Twenty seconds later!**

Quaritch: Almost finished!

Norm: NEYTIRI! GET HIM IN THE NUTS WITH THAT FEATHER!

Neytiri: Eww [Stuffs the feather in quaritch's pants]

Quaritch: [Stops.. than falls rolling around on the ground giggling]

Wainfleet: [Points] WHAT. A. FAG!

Adventus: [laughs] Well, looks like quaritch is soft after all.

Jake: One point for na'vis!

Adventus: Na'vi: 1 RDA: 0. Now… [turns to Jake] You have to wrestle a thanator!

Jake: [almost chokes] What!?

Katt: You heard him.

Adventus: And, we brought our friendly neighbourhood thanator, Bob!

Bob: [sniffs] Slinger?

Katt: [looks at bob] I prefer fish.

Tsu'tey: [looks at jake] bahahahah… bahahahah! That skxawng can't fight a palulukan! Look at him! A rock sees more!

Neytiri: Shut up Tsu'tey!

Adventus: Regardless if he can't fight, he has to try! [teleports Jake to a cage with Bob]

Jake: [looks at bob] I know you, you're that thanator I ran away from before!

Bob: [looks at jake] Grrrrrrr, grrrrrrr.

Jake: Well, guess we'll get thanator stew tonight!

Bob: [farts]

Jake: uhhhh [falls unconscious]

Adventus: Bob wins by default! [claps]

Bob: [rolls over]

Adventus: Okay, Quaritch, as your punishment, you're going to have to get Jake out!

Quaritch: [looks in the chamber] There's no way, I'm going in there!

Katt: [grins] You don't have a choice! Heheheheh! [jumps on the teleporter button]

Quaritch: [appears in the chamber] …Shit.

**30 minutes later!**

Quaitch: [comes out dragging jake with an exopack]

Adventus: Congratulations Quaritch! You get a cookie! [throws a cookie at quaritch, his exopack shatters] Now, to our final dare from Pali Makto! [reads] Ah, norm!

Norm: Huh?

Adventus: You ever been on American idol?

Norm: That show went out of business 76 years ago!

Adventus: [smiles] Perfect! Because you have to out sing Ni'nat!

Norm: But, but I like Ni'nat.

Quaritch: [spits coffee in norms face] BAHAHAHAHAHAH! YOU LIKE A BLUE MONKEY?! BAHAHAHAH!

Jake: Honestly Norm, I thought you had standards!

Norm: [frowns] What's that supposed to mean?

Neytiri: [giggles] Well, we all know what Ni'nat has!

Everyone except Norm: [nods]

Katt: [yells out] Rabies!

Norm: [sobs]

Ni'nat: [smiles] I get to do a singing contest!?

Adventus: [nods]

Ninat: [sings _'Climbing up Iknimaya'_]

Norm: Uhh… [ makes a very agonizing high pitched shriek]

Everyone else: [start running around in circles] Ahhhhhhh! Shut him up!

Wainfleet: Great. ANOTHER fag!

Grace: [throws a book at norm]

Norm: [falls over]

Quaritch: Bullseye! Excellent shot, for a science puke.

Grace: [glares at quaritch]

Adventus: [looks at a board] Let's check the scores! Na'vi: 2 RDA: 0 Bob: 1.

Katt: Hehehehe, the RDA sucks!

Parker: Hey, you take that back! [turns] Jake, where's my carrot? I emailed to you last week about it!

Jake: Neytiri went through my bag and called it teylu food, and she made me eat it, 'cus she thought I was a skxawng!

Norm: [laughs] Jake eats teylu food!

Jake: You're teylu food!

Norm: [blinks for a few seconds] Waaaaaaaaaaaa!

* * *

Adventus: [reads his inbox] Silence fools! It appears Jack The Reaper has sent us some requests!

Katt: Yay!

Adventus: Alright, simple question, [turns to moat] do Na'vis have pubic hair?

Jake: I can answer that!

Neytiri: [smacks him over the head]

Moat: [smoking warbonnet fern] Nnnnoo waaay mmaaannn!

Katt: [turns to norm] Do avatars?

Norm: [smiles] Hell yeah!

Jake: [hi fives norm]

Katt: Ewwwwwww!

Adventus: Predictable answer from Norm and Jake there. [reads the last dare and smiles] Jake, can I have a talk to you for a second!?

Jake: [smiles nervously] Alright..

Adventus: [whispers something to Jake]

Jake: Sorry, I didn't hear that.

Adventus: [rolls eyes] Basically you have to scare the crap out of Neytiri.

Jake: Ohhhh [sneaks up behind Neytiri]

Katt: Hehehehehe [pushes jake]

Neytiri: Ahhh! [swings around and hits jake in the side of the head with her bow]

Jake: [unconscious]

Neytiri: [horrified face] Oh no! What have I done!?

Quaritch: [laughs] You nailed him, that's what!

Neytiri: [shoots quaritch]

Adventus: Good to see I've created chaos! [looks at everyone] Alright, I'm going to teleport you to you're living quarters, and you can all go home tomorrow!

Everyone else: Thank goodness

Adventus: [teleports them away]

Katt: [turns to adventus] You're not letting them go are you?

Adventus: [smiles] Me? Of course not! [laughs with katt]

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Please Review and post dares or questions for the characters, and Katt and I!

Many thanks to Pali Makto and Jack The Reaper!

I can only continue with more reviews!


	3. More Reviews!

Much obliged for the reviews guys! Took me 3 days to get over my laziness before i wrote this!

Hope you like the chapter!

* * *

Adventus: [walks in] Excellent! We are slowly but surely getting more reviews!

Jake: [very tired] Do we have breakfast before we go home?

Katt: You already had some before you got here!

Jake: Tsu'tey eat my toast..

Tsu'tey: Bahahahaha

Adventus: Well, great to have you guys for today, because we've got more dares!

Max: But I thought we were going!

Adventus: Yeah, I thought so too, until I saw that one of you signed a year's contract!

Jake: I though that was an autograph..

Everyone else: [glares at jake]

Adventus: Not everyone is obsessed with you Jake…

Jake: Apart from Neytiri! [smiles]

Adventus: [rolls eyes] Katt, read Jack's review.

Katt: Alright! [pulls a paper out of her loincloth]

Adventus: The new one, Katt!

Katt: Oh.

* * *

_Jack the Reaper_

_Hehe.  
Let's see... Dares dares dares...  
Damnit I hate making up dares.  
Oh well.  
Let's see...  
What about having Jake shave Parker? And Quaritch too. And Wainfleet! Come 'ere Wainfleet, ** git sum... xD  
And when we're at it, let the na'vi smoke some weed. Let them see the pretty colours and shapes xD_

_

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_

Adventus: It may be hard making up dares, but trust me, it's harder writing them! [clears throat] Jake!?

Jake: Yeah?

Adventus: Take this trusty shaver, and do Parker's, Quaritch's, and Wainfleet's hair!

Jake: How much hair? [nervously smiling]

Adventus: All their hair!

Katt: [yells] Hey Wainfleet!

Wainfleet: [deep frying grace] Eh?

Grace: Put me down!

Wainfleet: [shrugs] You're the man, doc. [drops grace in the deep fryer]

Katt: [gathers parker, wainfleet, and quaritch] I found them!

Adventus: Excellent! [teleports them to jake's barber shop]

**1 hour of screaming later..**

Jake: [comes in, filled with bruises] It was a hard job, but I did it!

Neytiri: [cocks head] How hard?

Jake: Harder than Quaritch's thick head!

Jake and norm: [laugh]

Parker: [walks in] Hey guys, look at my great new haircut!

Adventus: Great, now he's just as ugly as he used to be.

Wainfleet: [walks in]

Everyone: [laughs]

Wainfleet: Eh, whats yer' beef?

Norm: You haven't got any eyebrows! You look like a seagull!

Adventus: You can't tell what he's thinking!

Wainfleet: Oh yeah? [pulls out a gun, shoots at jake] Yeah! Get some!

Quaritch: [walks in]

Everyone: [stop, laugh at quaritch]

Adventus: So did you shave all of Quaritch, Jake?

Jake: Yeah, but it was hard shaving his legs.

Katt: Why?

Jake: He was wearing stockings!

Adventus: Interesting, Na'vi: 1 Transexuals: 0! Next dare please!

Katt: [throws marijuana at the na'vi, than a bong] Hehehehehe! The Na'vis are going to get cancer!

Adventus: Good to see you care, Katt.

Katt: Wa?

Adventus: I was being sarcastic.

Moat: Whoaaaa, gather rouundd duuddes! [smokes more]

Neytiri: Jake, don't be alarmed, but your head has transformed into a potato!

Jake: [confused] What?

Neytiri: [points to the RDA] The evil empire of the cucumber is attacking!

Jake: How do you know what those vegetables are?

Neytiri: [glazed look] Try some man! [holds out some weed]

Eytukan: Bah, Jakesully! This is all your fault! [throws a rock, it hits neytiri in the face]

Neytiri: Waaaahhhhh!

Tsu'tey: This calls for a celebration! Kava for everyone! [goes over to the pot] Ahhhhh! Thanator, Thanator!

Adventus: Tsu'tey, there's a inscription of a thanator at the bottom of the pot!

Tsu'tey: Baaaaaaah!

Wainfleet: I want what he's smoking!

Adventus: Next dares please, before we all suffocate from this smoke!

* * *

_LoveAVATAR_

_HAHA! I got a really good laugh of this xP  
Ok so I'm gonna go think of something to support your fic... (thinks for a while)_

_*Neytiri to hit a apple with an arrow that is placed on Jakes head!  
*Wainfleet to be dressed as a girl an entire day!  
*Grace to have the possiblity to get a sample from the Tree of Souls but needs to make out with Quartich for a whole minute... None Stop!  
*They all have to watch Avatar and tell us their reactions!  
*How was everyones reactions to when they found out that all the toilets in the living quarters were clugged?_

_Haha... I can't wait to see what you'll make out of this :P_

_

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_

Adventus: [finishes reading] Oh, I'll make something out of this, but those guys aren't going to like it!

Katt: But since when have we cared about them?

Adventus: Never! Good Katt. [pats katt on the head] Now! Neytiri, you have to shoot an apple off Jake's head!

Neytiri: uhh, okay!

Jake: I don't like this..

Neytiri: [fires an arrow, it misses, hits tsu'tey] Wow, what a good shot!

Tsu'tey: Owwwww…

Quaritch: [grabs the apple, throws it at norm]

Norm: [gets nailed right between the eyes]

AMP dudes: Hahahahahahahah!

Katt: Next Dare!

Adventus: [takes paper] I get to say that!

Katt: Wainfleet!

Wainfleet: Hmm? [eating a rat]

Katt: You have to dress up as a girl!

Wainfleet: Oh, shit! This is like my little sister's birthday! [puts on a dress]

AMP Dudes: Hahahhahahahah! Fag!

Adventus: [turns] What is it about transsexuals this chapter?

Jake: But Wainfleet and Quaritch always were gay!

Quaritch: You crossed the line. [pulls out a baseball bat, knocks Jake out with it]

Adventus: [smiles] Well Quaritch, you CAN prove him wrong!

Quaritch: How?

Katt: Grace can get a sample from the tree of souls..

Grace: Score!

Katt: [smiles] ..if she makes out with Quaritch for a whole minute! Non Stop!

AMP dudes: Ewwwww! The old fart is going with some other old fart! Fags!

Quaritch: You're all on latrine duty for a month!

AMP Dudes: ….Hahahahahah!

**1 minute of filthy, despicable crap which I am NOT writing later!**

Grace: [dead]

Adventus: Looks as though Grace WOULD die to get samples!

Norm: She suffocated because of Quaritch's BYO body odor!

Adventus: [smiles] Looks like she won't need those samples. [turns to katt] Katt, burn the tree of souls down!

Katt: [smiles] Already did!

Na'vis: Nooooooooo! Why!?

Adventus: I was bored, that's why! Now you all get to watch a movie!

RDA guys: WOOOOOO! AWESOME!!!!!

Na'vis: What's that?

Katt: Moving pictures!

Adventus: [teleports them to the cinema]

**2 hours of Avatar Awesomeness later!**

Everyone: [comes back]

Adventus: How was it?

Wainfleet: [still wearing a dress] The absolute worst movie of all time!

Jake: You're just saying that because you got crushed by a hammerhead.

Wainfleet: I eat hammerheads for breakfast!

Quaritch: Well, I smuggled in a camera!

Jake: You sick bastard, you took pictures at the tree of voices, didn't you!?

Quaritch: [evil old man smile]

Tsu'tey: Ba! I did not die!

Wainfleet: Yeah! Anyone knows I cut the bastards hair off!

Tsu'tey: Ba!

Norm: Where did the Leonopteryx go?

Neytiri: We ate it!

Adventus: Interesting! Now, how was it in the living quarters?

AMP dudes: All the toilets were clogged, so Wainfleet did a shit on Norm's bed! You should of seen his face!

Norm: [shivers]

Neytiri: There was no problem for us Na'vis!

Katt: You know, there's a reason there's Na'vi poop all over the floor!

Neytiri: [embarrassed] Well, Tsu'tey did most of it!

Tsu'tey: Ba!

Adventus: For that Tsu'tey, you have to eat your crap off the floor! [turns] Good evening! [teleports them away]

Katt: What's for dinner?

Adventus: [smiles] You can eat Jake!

Katt: Yay! [runs off]

Adventus: They'll never know I cut the power! Good times!

* * *

Another chapter done! Rejoice!

Thanks for the dares guys, keep it up!

Oh, and to keep it interesting, remember you can send me and Katt dares as well. I may except dares for OC characters! [provided they're not fags!]


	4. Pure Awesomeness!

I'm back!

And with the longest chapter so far! 8 pages on microsoft word!

I don't own avatar, but adventus, me, katt, bob and furry kittens are mine. [you'll see!]

* * *

Adventus: Ahh, great to be back for another day in the world of fanfiction!

Jake: You asshole! [throws a chair at adventus] You turned the power off!

Adventus: Yeah, what are you going to do? [smiles] Katt, read out Jack's dares please.

Katt: Oh, okay. [pulls a paper out of her chest covering]

* * *

_Jack The Reaper_

_Hah! Nice one xD  
Oh, and by the way, am I supposed to be flattered by the fact that Katt's been keeping my dare in her loinclothes? xD  
Now... Let's se...  
I want to see Jake in a suit. Jake? Suit up! =D  
And while we're at it, make all the other male characters suit up too. You know why? Because suits are awesome. That's why._

_And don't you dare tell me otherwise. xD_

_

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_

Adventus: I agree, suits are awesome. [turns] All male characters suit up!

Katt: Except for Norm [smiles] because Norm's a female character!

Norm: Waaaaaaaa!

Tsu'tey: Bah! Sky People clothes! [hopping around with a suit on his head]

Neytiri: Why am I wearing this? [gestures to her suit]

Adventus: Dunno [shrugs and turns] Katt, what have I told you? You're supposed to keep the dares in a folder, not in your clothes!

Katt: [sobs] But I don't wanna! Waaaaaaa!

Adventus: Perfect. Just perfect. [turns] Jake, look what you've done!

Jake: huh? [ripped his suit]

Adventus: Well, you guys have to wear suits for the rest of this chapter...including me! [magically acquires a suit]

Jake: Why?

Adventus: Simple. Because suits are AWESOME! [hi5s jack the reaper]

* * *

_Bigoldfrog_

_Chaotically fun in its brilliance, like one of my favourite books of all time. I love it!_

_I have an itch needing a scratch; a truth only such a brain as yours could acquiesce._

_For Miles Quaritch: If the answer to the universe is 42, what the hell is the question?_

_

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_

Adventus: I'm flattered. [turns] Quaritch, what's the question?

Wainfleet: Oh! I've got one! How old is the old fart?

AMP dudes: But dude, everyone knows Quaritch dude is 10000! [hi5 each other]

Quaritch: Easy! How long have I been in the military!

Adventus: Funny, seeing as you've been in the army 42 years, you're still just a colonel.

Everyone else: [laughs]

Adventus: Next dare please! [takes paper from katt]

* * *

_Pa'li Makto_

_What a great chapter..Excellent work with Quaritch and Wainfleet.  
Hm dares...  
about if Norm goes on Iknimaya to get a Ikran?  
has to teach all the AMP Suit guys how to cook algae and whatever else is lying around on Hells Gate.  
has to dance seductively in front of the old fart Quaritch._

_

* * *

  
_

Adventus: Oh god, how can you be so evil? I like it! [smiles]

Katt: Norm has to go on a hopeless quest to acquire an Ikran! [laughs]

Jake: Trust me, Norm's going to be an epic failure!

Wainfleet: [turns] Alright ladies, let's bring the cookware! [pulls out a chainsaw]

AMP dudes: Whooooooa! [start running around catching banshees and viperwolfs, detergent, and anything not nailed down]

Adventus: [ducks under a flying cow]

Katt: [runs after it] Cow! Cow! Cow!

Adventus: How is norm doing?

Norm: [comes back crying] There were no banshees! Those guys ate them all! [points to amp dudes]

Wainfleet: [has trudy on a spit] Hey, get some bro! [holds out trudy's head]

Norm: Waaaaaaa! [runs off]

AMP Dudes: [chasing norm] Come on dude, try some!

Wainfleet: Yeah! Get some!

Adventus: [sighs] Well, this had to be done sooner or later. [turns] Neytiri, I order you to dance seductively in front of Old Fart over there! [points to Quaritch}

Neytiri: [shivers] Do I have any choice?

Adventus: [drops tea] WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!? OF COURSE YOU DON'T!!! [throws chair at neytiri]

Neytiri: [ducks] …fine.

**10 Minutes of Neytiri dancing around that any avatar fan would give their lives to see later!**

Quaritch: [frothing up at the mouth]

Neytiri: [kicks him in the nuts and runs off]

Adventus: ..You've got to admit, that's just sick. Next dare!

* * *

_VampireStories_

_Ok so I wasn't going to do a rewiew but hey I want more chapters right? So they find another tree of voices and they tell jake and neytiri or any other pair that they have a day of there while theyspy on them the whole time. I'm not sexist this just seems like a funny story. Or maybe they'll all  
Have to survive in the forest alone . I don't know?_

_

* * *

  
_

_fool i am the weasel_

_hm oh i know make mr .scar face dude(as i like to call mr.Q)go on a date with a navi lol :)_

_

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_

Adventus: [smiles evilly] Pure writing brilliance in it's purist form! We can put these together!

Real Adventus: Indeed! [comes down a gold escalator]

Adventus: [turns] Holy Shit! [falls of his chair]

Real Adventus: Sorry, it's just that I'm smarter than you, and we must make good use of this dare! [pulls out a list] These are the pairings of characters!

AMP Dudes: Dun Dun Dun! Hahahahah!

Neytiri: Please not Quaritch! Please!

Real Adventus: Alright, here it is!

Everyone: [silent]

Real Adventus: Firstly, [looks up] Jake and Neytiri!

Jake: Wooooo!

Real Adventus: [rolls eyes] Next, Wainfleet and Grace!

Wainfleet: Ohh No!

Grace: [swallows her cigarette] Nooooo! [chokes]

Real Adventus: Third, Quaritch and Piral! [I write it as Piral, cos its more awesome]

Quaritch: [turns] You crossed the line! [turns to piral] I'm going to eat your eyes for jujubes!

Piral: [gulps]

Real Adventus: [smiles] And for the finale? Adventus and Katt!!!

Adventus: Are you completely insane!?

Real Adventus: [shakes head] No actually, everyone knows you're jealous of Jack the Reaper!

Everyone else: [laughs hysterically]

Adventus: [goes red] Shit! How did you know!?

Real Adventus: [laughs] Because I made you idiot!

Everyone: [laughs]

Katt: [slightly smiles] What are these pairings supposed to do exactly? [keeps eyeing adventus]

Real Adventus: Basically you go to separate trees of voices and …date. I hate that word! [turns] What are you still doing here? [teleports them away]

Norm: What do we do now?

Real Adventus: Simple. We watch them!

AMP dudes: Fag!

Real Adventus: Hey, AMP dudes, trust me when I say you'll thank me later.

AMP dudes: Why?

Real Adventus: We'll put it on camera, transfer it to global television, and start raking in millions!

AMP dudes: Awesome!

Real Adventus: Okay, let's see Jake and Neytiri! [walks in the tree of voices, comes out a minute later] You can guess what they're doing..

AMP dudes: [laugh]

Real Adventus: Now Wainfleet and Grace! [teleports them away]

Wainfleet: [walks out of the tree of voices]

Norm: Hey, where are you going?

Wainfleet: uhh.. [runs off]

Real Adventus: Predictable. Quaritch and Piral!

Quaritch and Piral: [having an epic fight like jake and Quaritch's]

Real Adventus: Damn, I thought Quaritch would be dead!

AMP dudes: Hey Quaritch dude! You're sooooo not awesome!

Quaritch: [stops] You crossed the li-

Piral: [kicks him in the face]

Real Adventus: [puts a camera on a tree] We can use that footage to rival James Cameron! [teleports] Now… Adventus and Katt!

Max: I don't like where this is going…

Real Adventus: You shouldn't, because they're not doing anything! [points through a bush]

Adventus and Katt: [sitting opposite each other]

Adventus: Sooo, how was your day?

Katt: Meh. Pretty boring till I ate that cow!

Real Adventus: This isn't working. I'm going to use Katt's ultimate motivation! [throws a bowl of strawberries at katt]

Katt: [looks] Strawberries! Yay! [eats them all]

Adventus: ..right.

Katt: [looks at adventus… and purrs]

**2 hours of despicable yet awesome footage later!**

Real Adventus: [turns to AMP dudes] Well, they're finally both asleep in the jake/neytiri position! We better get back before they wake up! [teleports everyone back] So, how was everyone's dates?

Jake: Excellent, as usual! [kisses neytiri]

Real Adventus: Leave it out you two! [turns] Grace, what about you?

Grace: Excellent!

Everyone: [gasp, some faint, max has a stroke]

Grace: Nooo, excellent because Wainfleet ran off!

Everyone: Oh thank god/eywa.

Real Adventus: Sick people, you've all got filthy minds. [turns] How about you guys?

Quaritch: Terrible, I didn't even get to kill her!

Piral: [looks at quaritch] Likewise.

Real Adventus: Interesting. [turns and smiles] And what about you two?

Adventus: [glances at Katt] Fine.

Real Adventus: [smiles] Than what's this? [holds up a bag of kittens]

Adventus: [goes red] You. Scheming. Bastard!

Everyone else: [burst out laughing]

Real Adventus: Well, my job is done. Goodbye! [goes up the escalator]

Adventus: [turns] All of you! Shut up! [sits on his chair] Next dare!

Katt: [sits on adventus] Yeah, next dare!

* * *

_LaTeNiGhTaLuMnI_

_*Neytiri is dared to drink hot sauce  
*Quaritch is dared to staple Tsu'Tey's ears to his head.  
lol thats all I can think of lol_

_

* * *

  
_

Adventus: Interesting, and shut the hell up!

AMP dudes: Whoa, whatever dude!

Parker: [pulls out some tobassco sauce] I put this on my carrot sometimes!

Everyone: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Neytiri: [falls over and has a seizure]

Wainfleet: Ohh, that dude can't hold her sauce!

Quaritch: Agreed! [staples tsu'tey's ears to his head]

Tsu'tey: AHHHHHHHHH!

Jake: [laughs his head off]

Tsu'tey: [crying] Get my mum! Get my mum!

Adventus: Marvelous! [laughs] Excellent work Quaritch! Next dare!

* * *

_rozenmaiden158_

_awsome story hm...how about  
*make the na'vi listen to rap music  
*make them charie the unicorn for 1 hour straight  
*have a dance off  
* make tsu'tey take grace on a date  
where do the na'vi use the bathroom ?_

_

* * *

  
_

Adventus: The Nav'i don't use the bathroom. The crap all over the floor.

Jake: Rap music? Awesome! [starts trying to imitate it]

Nav'i: Make him stop! [running around like crazy]

AMP dudes: Rap music? Fag! [shoot at jake]

Adventus: Predictable reaction there. [reads next dare] Sorry but I can't understand that… next dare!

Jake: [starts doing disco dancing]

Neytiri: Skxawng! [smacks him over the head]

Parker: [starts moonwalking and singing a Michael Jackson song]

Adventus: Intersting, Wainfleet, what about you?

Wainfleet: [starts spinning around on his head and singing MC Hammer]

Katt: Now for the judges to tally the scores! [talks to adventus for a few minutes] Wainfleet is the winner! Followed by Parker, and lastly Jake!

Jake: Oh no! My life is ruined! [starts moaning and wailing]

Katt: Next dare! [picks up a folder]

Adventus: Good katt. [gives Katt a fish]

* * *

_rozenmaiden158_

_have the dude with the scar skinny dip with everone watching..  
katt and bob are the best so here some ice cream XD_

_

* * *

  
_

Quaritch: Woooo! [pulls clothes off and jumps in a pool]

Everyone else: [immediately run out of the water]

Adventus: And so our longest chapter so far is finally finished!

Bob: [starts running around with an ice cream box on his head] Slinger! Slinger! Slinger! [runs into a slinger]

Slinger: [screeches]

Bob: [cocks head] Slinger? [eats the slinger whole]

Katt: [gets an ice cream box] Wow! Strawberry ice cream!

Adventus: Oh, great. [turns] You all have to sleep outside tonight!

Quaritch: Yeah, looks like you need the living quarters!

Adventus: Get stuffed and good night! [gets pulled away by katt]

* * *

Done! 2,382 words done!

Please review, and tell me what you think of this little pairing! Remember, Adventus and Katt dares are accepted!


	5. New Characters!

Next chapter up! Thanks for waiting!

I don't own Avatar, or Man Vs Wild, but me, bob, katt [partly, as my sister did most of the work so give her some credit] and my version of eywa are mine!

* * *

Adventus: Hello again to another episode of Pandoran Truth or Dare!

Katt: [looks up from her water bowl] We aren't running a TV show..

Adventus: Perhaps, but I still broadcast it world wide! On with the dares!

* * *

_LaTeNiGhTaLuMnI_

_*Jake has to live off of the land for one day without Neytiri (Good Luck Jake!)  
*Neytiri and Tsu'Tey have to make out while Jake watches  
*Three words: "Na'vi Rave Party"  
*One Question: "Is Neytiri ticklish?"_

_

* * *

_

Neytiri: [about to say something]

Jake: Yeah! Neytiri's ticklish! Everyone knows! [starts chasing Neytiri with a feather]

Neytiri: [laughing hysterically]

Adventus: Fangirl nonsense aside, Neytiri has to make out with Tsu'tey while jake watches!

Neytiri: [shivers] Ewwwww…

Tsu'tey: In you face Jakesully! Bahahahahah!

**10 seconds of filthy crap from hell later!**

Jake: [shaking and having a seizure]

Katt: [pokes him] I think he's dead!

Adventus: Hmmm, too bad. [teleports jake into the rainforest]

Wainfleet: Rave party? Awesome!!!

AMP dudes: [pull out all these speakers, lasers, and food] Yeah! Get some!

Wainfleet: Yeah, I'll be the DJ bro! [gets an AMP sized turntable]

Tsu'tey: Kava for everyone!

Eytukan: Mine! [drinks a whole bowl of kava]

Quaritch: [looks at Na'vis] I challenge you blue monkey scum to a drinking contest!

Eytukan: Agreed! [falls over and snores]

Tsu'tey: We'll see about that Tawtute! [chugs a bowl of kava]

Quaritch: Pfft. Amateur. [drinks a keg of beer]

**Meanwhile in the forest…**

Jake: Hmm, how am I going to get out of this? Stupid adventus… [missile explodes near him]

Jake: Fine, I take it back! I should probably get a vantage point.. [climbs up a tree]

Trudy: ..And if you look to your right you should see a Na'vi up a tree.

Dude: [shoots at jake] Yeah! You just got some bro!

Jake: [falls off a tree, and sees a figure in the distance] Who's that..?

Bear Grylls: [pops up] I'm Bear Grylls!

Jake: Whoa! [falls backwards]

Bear Grylls: I'm going to tell you how to survive in the wilderness! Let's start by foraging some food…

Jake: Right… where?

Bear Grylls: [gets up from pooping in a bush] Well, I can see an avocado tree up there! [points to a floating mountain]

Jake: [surprised look] An avocado tree? On Pandora? I must be dreaming…

Bear Grylls: [unconsciously pulls on avocado out of his pants] You're not dreaming. Now, since this avocado is covered in smelly bacteria.. [farts] ..we have to disinfect it with mayonnaise!

Jake: Uhh, okay. [takes mayo bottle from bear and puts it on avocado]

Bear Grylls: [eats an avocado] Well?

Jake: Owww, stomach pains.. [clutches his stomach in agony]

Bear Grylls: Oh, that mayonnaise is expired. Now on to water.. [walks up to the bush]

Jake: My stomach! This is all your fault!

Bear Grylls: Nah, wasn't as good as how Neytiri says it. [picks up his poop from earlier] Now what you can do, is drink the liquid from a fresh animal dung..

Jake: Oh nooooo…

**Meanwhile in the hometree..**

Tsu'tey: [sits with quaritch] Ah… I can hardly see the forest from all this kava…

Quaritch: [nudges him] Haven't got lost in the woods have you?

Piral: You're both soft! [drinks the rest of the kava pot and sits in it]

Quaritch: A woman.. [coughs] ..winning a drinking contest? That's blasphemous!

Piral: You're just jealous because you didn't do it!

Quaritch: True..

Wainfleet: Come on, brothers! Let's get this party started! [throws a burning keg on the hometree]

Hometree: [goes up in flames]

Parker: [looks up, barely missing a falling log] You see that?

Hometree: [burns down]

Tsu'tey: [stumbles around] Oh well, at least the kavas still here. [looks in the pot] Ahhhhhh! Thanator, Thanator!

Piral: [sitting in the pot] Tsu'tey, shut up.

Adventus: [teleports everyone back] So, how was it?

Bear Grylls: Excellent! We ate poo, fought a giant crocodile, and I sacrificed Jake to King Kong a few minutes ago! He didn't like the offer..

Adventus: [laughs] Interesting. I always pictured Jake that way..

Wainfleet: Yeah! It's 'cos he hasn't got any!

Everyone: [laughs]

Adventus: Hmm, what about the party?

Eywa: [comes down from the clouds] They destroyed my damn hometree!

Moat: I know.. but would you look at this warbonnet fern! [stuffs it in a bong and smokes]

Adventus Ahh, Excellent! I knew something bad would happen! Great job Wainfleet! [pats wainfleet on the back] Say hello to new characters Eywa, and Bear Grylls!

Eywa: [pulls out a weird pandoran fruit] I come in peace, and possibly other things…

Bear Grylls: [takes the fruit and bites into it] Thanks!

Adventus: Next dare!

* * *

_Jack The Reaper_

_Just as Katt is about to pull out Jack's next dare from somewhere on her person, a_ _large ball of shadow suddenly materializes from nowhere. A loud "SLURP!" sound later, a relatively tall man pops up where the shadowball once was. Roughly 1,90 tall, with short black hair and a neatly trimmed goatee on his chin, the man is clad in a nice black suit with a green shirt and gray tie, with a long trenchcoat over it, coupled with a fedora on his head.  
"Mornin'! The name's Jack "The Reaper" Smith. I figured I'd come here in person, just for fun. And, if I may, I'll stay here too." The person, apparantly Jack, said, before smiling. To everyones suprise, the smiles showed off a pair of vicious fangs, which somewhat ruined the calming effect the smile was indendet to induce.  
"Ehm... Jack? You have fangs." Katt said, not entirely sure whether to smile or not, since the fangs meant Jack was somewhat simalar to her, yet they were potentially incredibly creepy.  
"Yeah? Oh, woops, forgot to mention that. I'm a vampire. Not the sparkly-pants kind, thankfully. That's not a problem, is it?"  
"Ehm... Probably not...?" Adventus replied, not entirely convinced.  
"Oh well. Now that I'm here, I have a dare for you," Jack said, suddenly grinning rather evily. "I dare you Adventus, to lay off from Katt!"_

_

* * *

_

Adventus: Oh, you bitch. You've been planning this haven't you?

Jack The Reaper: [nods and smiles again]

Adventus: Well, I'm sorry to say, but I cant comply with that dare. [has to grab katt from her running over to jack]

Katt: [keeps meowing with big eyes]

Adventus: Well, uhh nice suit, but I can't comply with that!

Neytiri: Wait a minute, that means..

Jake: ..We can choose a dare for him!

Adventus: [puts his head in his hands] Shit.

Jack The Reaper: It has to be related to my dare somehow. Or I'll come at you like a buzzard!

Quaritch: Oooo, I'm scared! [turns] Make him go with someone else!

Bear Grylls: And I think I know who.. [turns to eywa] Today you become an honoury member of the game!

Everyone else: [turn to eywa]

Eywa: [looks around and smiles] Ehm.. what?

Jake: You have one objective.

Quaritch: [points to adventus] Go with him.

Eywa: Oh. [waves to adventus]

Adventus: [face palms]

**20 minutes of **_**godly **_**despicable crap from hell later!**

Adventus: [clings onto the desk] Next dare!

* * *

_Pali Makto_

_That's the best chapter so far, keep it up.  
Okay so dares:  
Grace should tie Parker to a chair and tell him about the connection that the trees have with Pandora to ** Parker off.  
Make Jake have another epic battle with Quaritch.  
To cap it off: Bob and Katt should have lunch together while all this is going on in the background. _

_

* * *

_

Adventus: Thanks for the compliment. [ties parker to a chair]

Grace: [walks up to parker] You see Parker, the trees on Pandora…

Adventus: Meanwhile, Katt and Bob are welcome to a picnic!

Katt: Wow! Do they have fish?

Adventus: Not sure.

Bob: Slinger?

Adventus: They do have slingers and strawberries though!

Katt: Strawberries? Where, Where?

Adventus: Over there [points to a hill]

Katt and Bob: [race to the hill]

**4 hours of boring lectures from grace later!**

Parker: [snoring, wakes up] You know, grace, I used to think I enjoyed our little talks, but personally I'd rather play golf. [looks around] Where's my putter?

Adventus: Predictable. Jake needs to fight Quaritch!

Quaritch: [shoots at jake]

Jake: [rolls over and grabs quaritch's weapon]

Quaritch: [swipes at jake]

Jake: [runs up the AMP suit arm and holds the blade above his head, ready to jump]

Quaritch: Hah! I learned from this! [presses the eject button]

Jake: [the canopy flies off and smashes jake backwards]

Adventus: And Jake is dead! Great job!

Katt: [comes back] Me and Bob saw the fight! Jake must be a moron! I knew it!

Bob: [nods and rolls over]

Parker: [kicks jake on his back] Jake?

Jake: …Yeah?

Parker: You're fired! [walks off]

Adventus: Next dare!

* * *

_Pandora Nuker_

_This story is, while extremely random, the funniest thing invented on to my knowledge. I have to say, it gets 4.5 stars (I had to nick a half-point cause this story certainly is on the borderline of story and not story). Now on to the dares:_

_Colonel Quaritch may be given the opportunity to destroy the Tree of Souls, but he has to completely rip it apart in an unarmed AMP in one minute or else he must worship Eywa for one hour straight._

_Parker Selfridge may get one billion tons of unobtainium and no Na'vi interference on mining if he can survive in the Pandoran jungle for one day._

_Lyle Wainfleet mentioned in an earlier chapter about hunting Hammerheads for breakfast. If this is true, then he must go in the jungle in his AMP suit, hunt down a Hammerhead, and eat all edible parts of it in one hour._

_And finally, have Quaritch solve a Rubiks cube._

_Thanks for dedicating your story to a true piece of comedy!_

_

* * *

_

Adventus: And thanks for reviewing! Much appreciated.

Quaritch: But.. Katt destroyed the tree of souls in an earlier chapter!

Adventus: Precisely! NOW WORSHIP EYWA!

Eywa: Yay! More mindless servants! [looks at the na'vis] No offence guys…

Quaritch: Stuff you! [pulls out a cross]

Eywa: AHHHHHHHH!

Adventus: Quaritch! Solve this rubiks cube! [throws a rubiks cube at quaritch]

Quaritch: [hits him in the head] ..Fine.

Adventus: Parker! [teleports parker away] Survive in the jungle!

Parker: Where's my goddamn carrot!?

Adventus: And Wainfleet! Eat that hammerhead. [points to a hammerhead walking around in the mansion]

Wainfleet: No problem bro! [tackles the hammerhead] ..Got it! [holds up a leg]

Adventus: Now, you have to eat all of that!

Wainfleet: Oh, easy!

**25 hours later!**

Wainfleet: Owwww… I don't want to ever see another hammerhead again!

Adventus: [looks around] Where's Parker?

Eywa: [holds up his head with a shy smile] Well, I kind of got hungry..

Adventus: Excellent! That means we can torture Wainfleet and Parker in the next round! Good job! [pats eywa on the head]

Eywa: [goes blue] Uh.. thanks!

Jack The Reaper: I can tell where this is going…

Adventus: Silence fool! And Quaritch still hasn't finished!

Quaritch: [throws the rubiks cube on the ground] I can't do it! Baaaaaahhhhh! [shoots the rubiks cube with a machine gun]

Bear Grylls: What a waste. [eats the remains of the rubiks cube] You have to be opportunistic like me!

Adventus: Right… Now go back to your living quarters and go to sleep! NOW!

Everyone else: [runs off]

Adventus: Now… [turns] Katt, murder someone in their sleep. I want a conspiracy!

Katt: Ok, but I want some fish when I get back.

Adventus: [turns] …..Fine.

* * *

Done! Yay! Now i'm even more happy after my success with my english assessment!

Bear Grylls is from the british show Man Vs Wild, and he goes to other places, eating crap, walking through crap, and eventually escaping the crap which he calls elephant dung.

It's normally on moday here in aus. Look it up on wikipedia.

My version of Eywa is white, with white hair and black stripes. With black leather double loincloth and covering [like Neytiri's in the battle of the tree of souls]

Thanks for reading, and please review!


	6. Author's Note

Sorry guys, but the next chapter of pandoran truth or dare will be up next Saturday.

At school I've got 4 assessments due this week.

Wish me luck.


	7. Giant Chapter!

I'm back! Finally!

I don't own avatar, but me, katt, Bob, Eve, (you'll find out soon) my created military hardware, my personification of Eywa and anything not made in china is mine!

* * *

Adventus: [walks in] A week of complete bullcrap finally over..

Grace: Just because someone can't do physics.

Adventus: [shoots grace] Shut up! Now, what's been happening?

Katt: [leans over] I killed Tsu'tey while they were sleeping. But no one cares!

Jake: [running around holding a torch] Yay! The wicked witch of Pandora is dead!

Adventus: Right.. on with the dares!

* * *

_LaTeNiGhTaLuMnI_

_*Katt and Adventus have a UFC fight in the middle of the forest  
*EVERYONE MUST LISTEN TO JUSTIN BEIBER AND SUSAN BOYLE (Gag me)  
*Like, Quaritch like, talks like a like valley girl to like piss everyone like, off!  
*Grace and Parker must play 7 minutes in heaven... and try not to kill eachother.  
*(How can you resist this one?) PUT TSU'TEY AND JAKE AND QUARITCH IN LEOTARDS AND THEY HAVE TO DANCE TO SWAN LAKE!_

_LOL looking forward to another chapter!_

_

* * *

_

Adventus: Hmm, interesting. [turns to katt] Sorry about this, but it's my job. [punches katt in the face]

Katt: Owww! You're not nice! WAAAAAAAAA!

Adventus: …It's a dare, Katt. We're supposed to fight each other.

Katt: Ohhhhhh. [whacks adventus across the face with a plank of wood] This is fun!

Adventus: [spits out a tooth, gives it to eywa] Here, hold that. [kicks katt in the stomach, who in turn grabs his leg and throws him through a window]

Eywa: [looks around, then puts the tooth in her covering] He didn't say to give it back..

Katt: [turns] HEY! What are you doing!

Eywa: [blushes] Nothing.

Katt: Oh no! You must be a cow in disguise! [starts chasing eywa around]

Adventus: [crawls through the window] That's it! [turns on speakers blaring Justin beiber and susan boyle, oh, and gags LaTeNiGhTaLuMnI]

Jake: Ohh god! The agony! Turn it off! [rolling around on the floor]

Neytiri: [running around, cursing in na'vi]

Katt: [curled up in a ball crying] TURN IT OFF!

Wainfleet: [dancing for no apparent reason] Yeah! Get some!

Adventus: [turns off music] Better?

Almost everyone: [glares at adventus]

Adventus: What? [turns] Sorry but I can't use that dare. Can't understand it properly. However! As a compromise, Quaritch will say everything in Na'vi the whole time!

Quaritch: Bah! Skxawng!

Adventus: Yeah like that. Next dare! [reads] HAHAHAHAHAAH! HAHAHAHAHAH! IN YOUR FACE PARKER!

Parker: [eats his carrot] Huh?

Adventus: [gets parker and grace] Let me put this simply for both of you. [stuffs them in a closet]

Katt: [scratching at the door] But I want to go in the closet! Waaaaa!

Adventus: [whispers] Later, Katt. Later.

Katt: [giggles]

Eywa: [bursts out crying]

Jake: What's that all about? [nudges quaritch]

Quaritch: Eywa neu ne muntxa hu Adventus! [glazed look]

Adventus: [spits out tea and starts coughing]

Jake: What dit he say?

Neytiri: [smiles] He said ' Eywa wants to mate with Adventus'.

Jake: Whoa!

**7 minutes later!**

Katt: A few minutes ago there was lots of banging on the door. It's gone now..

Quaritch: Fo kerusey!

Neytiri: [rolls eyes and translates] 'They're dead'.

Adventus: [opens the door]

Katt: [screams]

Grace and Parker: [go red]

Adventus: Ewwww. I'm totally posting that on youtube! Next dare!

Katt: Can we go in the closet now?

Adventus: Fine. [magically turns on swan lake and makes jake and quaritch have leotards, before disappearing into the closet with katt]

Jake and Quaritch: [dancing while swearing madly in navi and English]

Everyone: [runs around screaming, or laughing madly]

* * *

_HowlingWolf4Life_

_This is EPIC!I got some dares *laughs evilly*_

_1.I feel sorry for Tsu'tey so here ya go pal! *an exact clone of Neytiri pops out of nowhere* Have fun with her *winks*_

_what to do with Fart...(Quaritch) *snaps fingers* I got it!He has to give everyone a kiss on the cheek!Talk about torture,haha._

_has to go through this gender-bender machine! *uses awesome review powers to make it pop in*_

_,sing the do you like waffles song for my amusement =D_

_

* * *

_

**10 minutes later!**

Adventus: [comes out of the closet] Ah! Dares! [throws a clone of neytiri at tsu'tey]

Tsu'tey: [comes back to life] Yes! Finally! In your face JakeSully! You've got the old version!

Neytiri: Old version? [shoot tsu'tey in the shoulder with an arrow]

Tsu'tey: Owwww!

Gender bender machine falls on Quaritch

Adventus: Good! My package is here. [signs paperwork] Now!

Everyone: [dosen't listen]

Adventus: EVERYONE! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!

Everyone: [sits down]

Adventus: [smiles] Thank you. Now. Na'vis first! Heheh.

Jake: [looks like piral]

Piral: [slightly thinner version of jake]

Neytiri: [turns into a na'vi male with long hair and feminine curves. Hehehe]

Tsu'tey: No! [his clone gets turned into a male]

Adventus: Tsu'tey won't go in. It's funnier if he goes with… [smiles] AH! Tsu'tey, you are now Jake's life mate! Have fun!

Jake and Tsu'tey: Ahhhhhhh!

Adventus: [throws katt and eywa through]

Eywa: [looks exactly the same] Yeah! I'm a spirit! This is just a physical form!

Adventus: Damn it!

Katt: [male version of herself] Oh no! I look like a retard! [cries] I LOOK LIKE HIM! [points to jake]

Adventus: Poor Katt. Too bad I don't care. [chucks quaritch through the machine]

Quaritch: [turns into trudy] Bahhh! Kehe! Kehe!

Adventus: [throws trudy in the machine, she looks like norm]

Trudy: Well ain't that a bitch.

Adventus: Indeed! [throws norm through and he looks like a female rat] Not sure how that works..

Quaritch: [chases norm]

Adventus: [throws wainfleet and parker through, wainfleet turns into a kiwifruit, and parker turns into a large rock] Right… [grace turns into parker and max turns into grace] Well, here goes. [jumps through]

Quaritch: [jumps in again, turning him back into a male] Yeah!

Adventus: [female face looks around] Quaritch can speak English? Quaritch is a male! How did this happen?

Quaritch: I taught myself English!

Adventus: Fair enough. [machine explodes in the background] Now, Quaritch has to, ewww, kiss everyone on the cheek..

Quaritch: Yeah! I'm going to give you some!

Wainfleet: [rolls out quaritch as a kiwifruit]

Quaritch: [eats him]

Jake: Oh my god! You killed Wainfleet!

Norm: You Bastard!

Adventus: [walks out, looking like katt but slightly taller, with dark blue stripes, as well as one vertical stripe from waist to upper chest (I aint saying that word) and with a leather V like necklace and double loincloth. Neytiri like hair] Uh, yeah! On with the dare.

Katt: Tsu'tey keeps staring at you. Get him!

Tsu'tey: [not blinking]

Adventus: Charmed. [punches tsu'tey in the stomach]

Quaritch: Hehehe, now!

**20 minutes of despicable crap later!**

Adventus: [uses a whole bottle of dettol hand sanitizer] Ewwwww.

Eywa: Hey! We need to come up with a name for the authoress!

Adventus: Eve. [turns] Now! Ni'nat, you know what to do!

Ni'nat: [takes a deep breath]

Do you like waffles?  
Yeah we like waffles!  
Do you like pancakes?  
Yeah we like pancakes!  
Do you like French toast?  
Yeah we like French toast!

do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!  
Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!  
do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!

Do you like waffles?  
Yeah we like waffles!  
Do you like pancakes?  
Yeah we like pancakes!  
Do you like French toast?  
Yeah we like French toast!

do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!

Everyone: [claps and whistles]

Eve: Next dares please.

* * *

_oh, i`ve got a dare! have jake chalenge someone to a computer game showdown [something like streetfighter or the tranceformers game] and make them all live a day in a condo with achmed the dead terrorist! lol! [look him up on you tube, that puppet is awsome!"  
Zandermon_

_

* * *

_

Jake: [male again] Very well Norm, I challenge you to a game of Transformers!

Norm: You're on!

**4 hours later!**

Jake: Uhh, I can't do this anymore.. [hits the keyboard]

Norm: [still mindlessly playing]

Eve: Norm wins! Therefore he can go with Trudy!

Norm: Yay!

Trudy: Oh god no..

Eve: Hmm well, AUTHOR POWERS! [teleports everyone to some condo]

Achmed: Ah! I kill you!

Quaritch: I'm sorry to break it to you, but you're dead.

Achmed: No I'm not.

Eve: Yes you are.

Achmed: You're dead!

Eve: Good point. [shoot quaritch in the head]

Jake: Hey Shot put! [grabs achmed and throws him out the window]

Quaritch: [laughs]

Eve: Right.. Hey! I've got an idea!

Norm: No one cares!

Eve: Go **** yourself Norm! Besides, what if we make Jake a suicide bomber?

Jake: Cool!

Neytiri: What's suicide?

Eve: Nothing to be worried about.. [stuffs jake with explosives and throws him at a passing car] Next Dare! [explosion in the background]

* * *

_Jack The Reaper_

_HOLY FUCK!  
BEAR GRYLLS!  
Damn, we have him on TV here too. I remember when he drunk that elephat-shit-water-whichhehadsqueezedoutofit. xD  
Okay, Bear Grylls, I dare you to survive in the jungle... WITHOUT eating any insects, drinking any crap-water, or using your trusty knife. =D  
And, Eywa, I dare you to kidnap Adventus for the duration of this chapter. And while you do that...  
"Shows a large box of strawberries to Kat, before running away with her on my heels."_

_

* * *

_

Bear Grylls: Easy! I'll be back for my broadcasting later! [runs off into the forest]

Eve: He's going to die.

Katt: I know.

Eywa: [reads dare then looks at eve] WAAAAAAAA!

Eve: Fine. [turns into a male adventus] You guys have fun. [gets pulled off by an incredibly happy eywa]

Jack The Reaper: [runs off with katt after him]

**2 days later!**

Bear Grylls: [walks in covered with mud] I'm back!

Katt: [sitting on jack the reaper stuffing her face with strawberries] Why are you covered with mud? You look like Jake!

Neytiri: [bursts out laughing]

Bear Grylls: Well, I kind of walked in with Adventus and Eywa. Well, she's very protective of her mate. [looks at katt]

Katt: [nearly chokes] MATE! Oh no! The cows have got him! I've got to take drastic action! [stuffs a bunch of strawberries in her loincloth, calls bob and bound off into the distance]

**1 minute later!**

Katt: [drags adventus in]

Eywa: [sleeping soundly on adventus as katt is dragging him]

Adventus: [stands up making eywa whack her head on the ground] Next Dare!

* * *

_Hideout Writer_

_Quaritch must fight Eywa. Eywa is given as her weapons anything that could possibly be found within the Pandoran jungle. Quaritch gets as many AMPs as you can fit into Hell's Gate, two helo-type units and a Dragon gunship. If Quaritch loses, he gets assimilated by Eywa -a very slow and painful process for him- and if Eywa looses, she must mate with him after turning him into a Navi. (heheheheheheheheheheheheh! I wanted to say that for so long! *mischievous grin*)_

_

* * *

_

Adventus: Interesting. For the Helo-type units he can use two Panther-11s. Read my profile.

Eywa: [mounts bob as her trusty steed] Uhh yeah! I'm ready! If I win I want to get Adventus!

Adventus: Don't push it. [smiles] Quaritch, get off your ass and get ready!

Quaritch: [counts] I've got 40 AMPs, a Dragon, and two Panthers. I'm ready.

AMP Dudes: [marching] Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!

Eywa: [pulls out a fancy white and black bow] Why don't you get some? [shoots down an AMP dude]

AMP Dudes: [walk over the guy not noticing] Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!

Quaritch: You morons! Fire!

AMP Dudes: Whoa, whatever old fart! [start firing in all directions]

Panther-11 pilot: Papa Dragon, this is November 1. Starting our at-

Panther-11 pilot #2: Hey! I'm November 1! You're November 2!

Panther-11 pilot: That's not how it works! I'm November 1, you're November 2!

Panther-11 pilot #2: You're mum's November 2!

Panther-11 pilot: Oh yeah? We'll see about that white boy! [slams into the other helicopter]

AMP Dudes: Whoa! Fireworks!

Eywa: [after making bob smash into some more AMPs, jumps on a banshee] I've almost got him! [flies on the side of the dragon]

Quaritch: Hold Fire!

AMP Dude: He said fire! [fires a 120 mm cannon at eywa]

Eywa: [dodges, the shell hitting the dragon sending it crashing to the ground]

Quaritch: [crawls out of the cockpit, looking at an AMP dude] You're fired!

AMP Dude: [drops the cannon] Catch me if you can dude! [runs off into the distance laughing]

Eywa: [picks up quaritch by the neck] I got him!

Quaritch: This is so degrading..

Eywa: I agree. [snaps his neck]

Adventus: [comes out of nowhere] Excellent job! Quaritch has to worship you for 3 chapters! Next Dare!

Eywa: [sheepishly smiles]

* * *

_Vskrainaek_

_Luck! Since this is called "Pandoran Truth or Dare!", can we have some truths? Here are some ideas:  
Quaritch: His deepest, most secret fear.  
Grace: Whether she really likes plants better than people.  
Jake: How many times did he fall off that pa'li when he was learning to ride?  
Wainfleet: Why is he always saying "Get some!"?  
Have fun...this should be good._

_

* * *

_

Adventus: Good change of theme. Quaritch, your deepest fear, now! Remember, I respect all your views!

Quaritch: Religion.

Adventus: ….Bahahahahahaah! That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard!

Grace: Depends on the people. I prefer Na'vis to plants, but it's the other way around for humans..

AMP Dudes: Racist! Get her!

Grace: [gets shot in the head]

Jake: I got her!

AMP Dudes: Whoa…

Jake: I fell off that direhorse 83 times!

Adventus: Really? How'd you remember?

Jake: I remember because that's how old Mo'at is.

AMP Dudes: Hahahahahahahaah! She's an old fart too!

Adventus: And finally, Wainfleet. Why do you always say, 'get some'?

Wainfleet: [sits on grace's corpse] It all happened 2 years ago..

AMP Dudes: Whoa! Baldy's telling a story!

Jake: Who cares!

Wainfleet: [turns] Shut your mouth bro! Anyway, you see, my sister used to work on Pandora, so I went over there to-

AMP Dudes: Oh! You sick dude Wainfleet! Second base! [hi5 each other]

Wainfleet: I went over there to help her deliver some package, and she told me the scientists needed to 'get some'. Since then I've remembered that!

Adventus: What happened to your sister?

Wainfleet: I ate her. Story time's over!

Adventus: Uh.. okay. Next Dare!

* * *

_Oh well then! how about I ask BEYRAL to jump down Adventus' throat with her knife drawn cause she didn't get to kill Quaritch!_

_"Oh crap you're probably going to use that as a dare arent you!"_

_you didn't even do rozenmaiden158's Tsu'teyxGrace Date!_

_Maybe you should use that as one of your next ones._

_Yes Tsu'tey MUST have dinner with Grace!_

_I had alot of ideas for dares but I can't remmember now!_

_But I have a finale for you._

_Jake finds the machinegun he used in the film and the AMP bayonet that he used at the end. He then procedes to chase Adventus around the mansion for putting him through hell. He is followed closely by Neytiri for the same reason, who is followed by Quaritch in his AMP (who is cursing prufusely because Jake broke his AMP's gun for the blade). All the other characters bring up the rear with the Navi chasing him with a number of weapons, Selfridge chasing him with a golf clu proclaiming:_

_"You stole my carrot!"_

_And finally Trudy trying to get to her Samson while Wainefleet tries to eat her._

_Wainefleet, the AMPdudes, Bob and Katt are then distracted be a large shiny portal to the world of reviewers (this allows Trudy to get into her cocpit and join the chase. Then I turn up in my Galactian body armour and Na'vi warpaint._

_"Hey Wainefleet!"_

_"Yeah"_

_"Go get some!"_

_"Wooohooo Pussies gtesomegetsomegetsome!"_

_(Me to AMPdudes) "Well follow him and you might get some if there's any left"_

_"FAG!"_

_"You're FAGS GO NOW"_

_They leave me with Katt and Bob._

_"Hey Bob (I say to the Thanator) Did you know that Adventus is a really large rare Slinger"_

_"SLINGER! slingerslingerslingerslinger!"_

_Katt is performing the following action:_

_Smile_

_Frown_

_Smile_

_Frown_

_"What's wrong Katt?"_

_"I love him but it's funny to watch"_

_"Hmmm well I caused this so what you gonna do about it"_

_Katt lunges._

_The fight that follows is brief, due to me tying up Katt in a bag and throwing her into a river._

_Well that's me calmed down._

_Another dare might be:_

_NormxBeyral_

_NormxNinat (he would like that)_

_Trudyxwainefleet or Quaritch._

_Norm or any other character has to win a staring contest with Bob after he's eaten six slingers and forty tins of beans AND not washed for a month._

_Well that's me out of ideas they wer'nt much good anyway._

_Ireyu for the laughs._

_Oel ngat kame._

_

* * *

_

Adventus: Ohh, harsh. And it's Irayo, ma tsmukan.

Tsu'tey: [drags grace off]

**2 minutes later grace and tsu'tey are sitting at a dinner table!**

Grace: So, how's life?

Tsu'tey: Bah!

Grace: Same here.

Adventus: [puts the famous bowl of spaghetti on the table] Bon appetite [walks off] Wankers..

Tsu'tey and Grace: [get some spaghetti..]

Grace: Ewwwwwww!

Tsu'tey: Bahhhhhhhh! [runs off into the forest]

Adventus: Excellent. Just as I predicted!

Piral: It says here I have to jump down you're throat with my knife drawn!

Adventus: [smirks] You can try.

Piral: [jumps with a knife]

Adventus: [moves out of the way]

Piral: [lands head first in the dirt]

AMP Dudes: [burst out laughing] EPIC FAIL! THIS IS SOOO GOING ON YOUTUBE!

Quaritch and Wainfleet: [put trudy in a tug of war in their AMPs]

Wainfleet: [pulls off trudy's head] Uhhh bro…

Quaritch: You have half and I'll have half!

Wainfleet: Deal!

Quaritch: [stretches out his hand]

Wainfleet: [takes quaritch's half and runs off laughing]

Norm: [grabs ni'nat AND piral] Ha! Don't look so smart now do you Adventus?

Adventus: [sitting on a chair near a desk with eywa and katt affectionately head butting him] Pfft. Amateur..

Norm: Damn it! [looks around] Is anyone willing to trade?

Piral: [slaps him in the face]

Adventus: And for the last dare of the day! Norm, you are to engage in a staring comp against Bob! May the best thanator win!

Norm: But I'm not a thanator..

Adventus: Exactly!

Norm and Bob: [look at each other]

Norm: [burps]

Bob: [tilts his head 90 degrees]

Norm: [copies him]

Bob: [turns his head 180 degrees]

Norm: [falls over while still keeping eye contact]

Bob: [farts audibly]

Norm: Ahhh! Tear Gas! [runs around crying]

Bob: Slinger!

Adventus: And lastly, I introduce new characters!

Jake: Oh, no!

Wii and Pc Avatar characters: [teleport in]

Ryder: Oh no. This must be another one of Falco's plans!

Rai'uk: Bah! Sky Person! [chases after ryder]

Amanti: [gasps] Eywa! [starts bowing]

Eywa: [sitting on adventus, and promptly blushes] Um, yeah! That's me!

Amanti: Wow! Who's that? [points to adventus]

Eywa: [blushes further] It's.. um…. my mate.

Amanti: Oh. Fair enough.

Eywa: [breaths a sigh of relief]

Tsahik Sanume: [runs in] Ahhhh! Blasphemy! [throws a rock at adventus]

Adventus: [looks at eywa] Friends of yours?

Eywa: No.

All Na'vis: [faint]

Adventus: [teleports everyone to sleeping quarters] Well..

Eywa: …I'm sleeping under the desk.

Katt: No! That's my spot!

Adventus: Whoever said love was bliss obviously hasn't met these two.

* * *

Yes! Done! Biggest chapter ever! 4033 words of goodness! Hope you guys like it!

Remember: You can send in dares for the new characters, including Eve.

Eywa Ngahu


	8. I'm back baby!

I'm back. After 5903 years, ADVENTUS IS BACK.

Surprised?

You should be. I had some problems before, and, I had to go to hospital.

But enough about my problems, here's the:

**NEXT CHAPTER!**

**

* * *

The place is filled with cobwebs and ruins of a forgotten era…**

Adventus: (turns light on) Hey guys! What's up?

Neytiri: You Skxawng! We've been starving! I hate you!

Adventus: Yeah, I love you too.

Quaritch: (throws car) You better bring snacks!

Adventus: Oh. Sorry, I ate a mars bar on the way here.

Quaritch: (facepalm)

Wainfleet: Yeah! Get so- (coughs)

Adventus: Wainfleet has HIV. Now where's Katt and Eywa?

Rai'uk: (points to toilet) Danger ahead!

Amanti: And Katt's over there.

Katt: (walking around headbutting everything in sight)

Adventus: (clears throat) Ahem.

Katt: (tackles him)

Adventus: Ow! My back! Shame on you Katt!

Katt: (sits there) …WAAAAAAAAA!

Adventus: Want some pilchards?

Katt: (stops crying)

Adventus: Well, on with another chapter!

* * *

_NereusXUnmi_

_hey i must say this is the funniest story i have ever read!_

_um guess if you pick my dares:_

_#1 katt and eywa has to date eachother (i dont know, i want to see what happened)_

_#2 grace and jake have to talk about the creation of Avatars. (that should be fun...)_

_#3 eywa and katt must fight each other, if they Adventus so bad._

_#4,and my final one; every one in this have to tell their deepiest fear! including adventus!_

_anyway great fanfic!_

_

* * *

_

Adventus: Thanks for the compliments, sorry I was late.

Quaritch: Really late.

Adventus: Oh piss off. Now, Katt and Eywa?

Katt and Eywa: (turn to look at him from their places on his desk)

Adventus: … you… have to date…. each other.

Katt and Eywa: WHAT? (look at each other in disgust)

Adventus: Well, I ain't getting any younger! (teleports them to a restaurant)

Grace: Ah! (turns to Jake) Now, Avatars are born using a gene-splicing method..

Jake: Avatars are big blue things with tails and loincloths…

**2 hours later!**

Everyone: (fell asleep from boredom)

Beydaamo: (in his sleep) Banana Banana. Banana banana banana!

Adventus: Where's Katt and Eywa? (door opens)

Katt and Eywa: (talking with their tails entwined with cheerful looks on their faces)

Adventus: (looks at watch) How long have I been asleep for?

Katt and Eywa: (look at adventus, then look at each other) Ewwwww. (quickly back away)

Adventus: Great. Just great. The ToD police will be on me for this one…

Katt: (pulls next dare out of her loincloth) Aha! (tackles and starts clawing Eywa)

Eywa: (kicks Katt in the face)

Katt: ..Waaaaaaa! Why did you do that! My nose hurts!

Eywa: (stops grinning) Oh no! I'm so sorry..

Katt: I don't like you! Waaaaaa!

Adventus: Predictable.

Quaritch: You know my deepest fear.

Neytiri: Uhh…

Jake: (scratches his loincloth)

Neytiri: Tsaherpes..

Jake: My mother in law.

Neytiri: (slaps him)

Peyral: Non continued existence.

Adventus: (raises eyebrows) Really?

Peyral: Kaltxi.

Adventus: Well, we'll see about that!

Peyral: (gulps)

Norm: Jake.

Wainfleet: Morris the killer whale. He's wanting revenge!

Trudy: Not enough gas.

Wainfleet and Jake: (laugh in the background)

Katt: The contents of Tsu'tey's loincloth… (shivers)

Tsu'tey: Thanator! Thanator!

Bob: (tilts head) Slinger?

Adventus: No bob. Your deepest fear!

Bob: (points to his thanator mate) Slinger! Slinger slinger slinger!

Eywa: Gaia.

AMP Dude: No underpants. Oh wait! I'm not wearing any! (hi5s all round)

Adventus: (looks at Katt, then looks at Eywa) Pregnancy. Next dares!

* * *

_fool i am the weasel_

_jake has to get his ikran into a poke ball (idk how just make it work)then sing the theme song while being chased by bob_

_neytiri has to wear a dress and heels_

_

* * *

_

Neytiri: Uhh, how do I fit in this? (holds up a tiny dress)

Adventus: Improvise.

Jake: (grunts from toilet) Uh… get in there.. get yourself in their you bastard! (walks back in)

Adventus: So you got the pok'e ball?

Jake: Oh no, I just did up my zipper.

Neytiri: (smiles) Uhh, I've got the shoes on.

Adventus: Excellent, now Jake! Get that bloody banshee in there!

Jake: It got itself in there….

Wainfleet: Oh man, that is just wrong.

Adventus: Indeed! (sets bob after Jake)

Neytiri: (has her dress caught in bob's tail and gets dragged after him) Help! Kehe! Kehe!

Bob: Slinger!

Jake: (running trying to memorise the lyrics)

Adventus: Wait. You haven't listened to the song?

Jake: No….

Adventus: You complete retard! Next dares!

Jake: Help me!

_

* * *

Wish to be an Avatar Drive_

_i love the chaper by the way so hear is my dare:_

_Everyone including you Adventus will be learning the Na'vi Laguage and will speek it for the rest of the Next chaper if one of you speek in eglish instead all Na'vi then you will be Atomic Wedgeied hard core style. By Me and or Katt and or My shadow named Killer 7 trust me killer 7 is ruthless_

* * *

Adventus: Very well.

Eywa: But I prefer English.

Na'vi: (scream and run around)

Adventus: Ha! Bam! Now we will be talking in Na'vi, but it will be translated to English! But we COULD use your shadow though…

Jake: (gets lifted up in the air by a massive wedgie)

Katt: Next dares!

Adventus: I thought that was my line.

Katt: (sits on his lap) Well, since you were gone so long, we had to improvise. Next Dare!

_Light121_

_how about this put them in the game dead space also make jake watch the worst movie ever in all existence_

Adventus: Oh okay. (teleports everyone)

Eywa: Hey, I recognize this place. I remember it was a downloaded server back in the days of online CoD4.

Adventus: (jaw drops) You play online games?

Eywa: Well, when the humans came, I had to get with the times. That's why I was late in helping the Na'vi.

Na'vi: (growl)

Jake: This doesn't seem so bad.. (walks into a slasher thing) Ahhh! It's got 2 dicks for arms!

Adventus: (facepalms and teleports jake to a movie theatre)

Jake: Ahhh! Movie theatre!

Adventus: (gets a slash cutter) Yo wainfleet?

Wainfleet: Yeah?

Adventus: Think fast! (blows his head off)

Grace: Well, that out did mine any day.

Katt: I'm scared.

Eywa: (laughs at Katt) Adventus likes fearless people!

Katt: No he doesn't! He likes me because I'm adorable!

Adventus: Be quiet! I can hear more of those things. Good thing I have my secret weapon! (teleports someone in)

Bear Grylls: I'm Bear Grylls!

Monsters: (scream and run off)

Adventus: (teleports everyone back)

Ryder: So, what movie did you watch Jake?

Rai'uk: Avatar!

Neytiri: Blades of Fury!

Jake: The- wait, what?

Neytiri: (shrugs)

Jake: I watched, the movie based off the video game, Doom.

Adventus: Oh I see. That sucked. Next dares!

_

* * *

Rozenmaiden158_

_can you do me a big favor and babysit my pet for me vivan_

_a part wolf /hmuan /navi_

_she likes to chase people around with chainsaws she also as anger managment she only likes jake and neyteri on wensdays_

_warning :she gets sugar high_

* * *

Adventus: Sugar high? Well, we're going to have a great time then.

Katt: What's a chainsaw? (adorable face)

Adventus: That thing. (narrowly dodges one)

AMP Dude: (has a chainsaw in his head) Whoa. Trippy.

Vivan: (growls) Where's my sugar! I know you've got it somewhere!

Katt: (smiles) Well since you asked nicely, it's in my-

Adventus: Katt, don't!

Katt: Oh, yeah.

Eywa: (whispers to vivan) Wainfleet has it!

Vivan: (looks at wainfleet)

Wainfleet: YEAH!

**12 minutes of chaos and fighting later!**

Blood and furniture strewn across the room.

Adventus: Where's rozenmaiden? We've got a problem.

Wainfleet: No problem bro. It's only a flesh wound! (has a gaping hole in his chest and no arms or legs)

_

* * *

LaTeNiGhTaLuMnI_

_I have a few_

_*Jake has to say 'BOOM, HEADSHOT" after everything someone says._

_*Quaritch has to be a cross dresser for the day_

_*Neytiri can't blink for ten minutes_

* * *

Adventus: Ah, excellent. Fresh dares. Much like fresh muffins.

Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT!

Adventus: Okay then. Quaritch is a transsexual for the day.

Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT!

Quaritch: What? Ah, fuck.

Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT!

'ColonelMilesQuaritch kicked from server for foul language'

Quaritch: (comes back 10 mins later wearing a dress) Well, just another day of dares I suppose.

Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT!

Neytiri: (is struggling to keep her eyes open) Um, Jake?

Jake: What is it Neytiri? BOOM, HEADSHOT!

Neytiri: Can you get me a drink?

Jake: INVALID! BOOM, HEADSHOT!

Neytiri: (falls over)

Katt: (kicks her) She's dead.

Adventus: Excellent! Next dares.

_

* * *

Rozenmaiden158_

_your story is the best its one of my favs_

_hmm... take all the navi to a humen strip club_

_i will offer this to you the rozen maiden and her sister in all their gothic lolita elgance will come kick scar dudes ass if you wish. just for fun and also to pick up vivan did she behave?_

_make all of them put on a broadway musical_

* * *

Adventus: Thanks for the contribution, and Vivan was like a charm.

(looks at messed up bloodied room)

Katt: Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, this is a human strip club.

AMP Dudes: WHOA! (running around with no underpants)

Adventus: Ahem.

Jake: BOOM! HEADSHOT! (neytiri trying to gag him)

Adventus: Oh, sure. Feel free to kick Quaritch's fat ass.

Quaritch: (still wearing a dress) Aw, crap.

Adventus: (puts rap music on)

They beat up quaritch with baseball bats in slow motion

Adventus: Now, get ready for the Wizard of Oz. Chop chop, I'm not paying you buy the hour.

Ryder: You're not paying us at all.

Adventus: Exactly! So get your ass moving!

**30 mins later!**

Adventus: So, ye travellers! What would you like from the wizard of Oz? How about you first Dorothy?

Quaritch: Uh, I want to go home.

Adventus: The wizard will send you home! And what would you like, ye tin bastard?

Wainfleet: I'd like to get some! YEAH!

Adventus: The wizard will do so, tinman.

Katt: I'd like some kittens! Hehehehehe!

Adventus: And you will get kittens, after this show. Here's my card.

Katt: (puts it in her loincloth)

Jake: And I'd like a brain!

Adventus: Well, in your case, that's asking quite a lot, but he'll do his best.

_

* * *

Oh god! I can't believe you actualy used that. Oh Bollocks._

_But I got one._

_Bear Grylls is always finding food in the oddest and most digusting places._

_He has to face the AMP dudes AND Wainfleet to see not who can get food first but who can eat eachother first. In other words Bear .vs. Wainfleet and the AMP dudes._

_May the best robotic, gun wielding food maniac win._

_And also Ryder and Rai'uk have a test to see which of their games is better. Which I would imagine would go something like this. (grabs Adventus and shoves him round a corner so he can listen to the argument)_

_Ryder:...Ha! you only have two weapons! a staff and a Bow._

_Rai'uk: At least my plot is canon loser!_

_Ryder: (ears flaten against head) yeah but... I get lotsa weapons... and can ride the Leonopterix._

_Rai'uk: you dreamt those when you plugged you queue into a Pandoran magic mushroom! And then you got eaten by that slinger obsessed Palulukan. And It's name is Toruk! (clubs Ryder with afformentioned staff)._

_Ryder: Goes flying and doesn't get back up._

_See for the next update._

_I suppose I'd better fave' you now._

_p.s Thanks for the spelling correction._

_Irayo Ma Tsmukan._

_Oel ngati kame_

* * *

Adventus: Thanks for the fave. And no problem.

Bear Grylls: (stretches his mouth wide) IM BEAR GRYLLS!

AMP Dudes: Whoa! (slide into bear grylls mouth)

Wainfleet: Aw, you'll never get me bro! (runs into a window) Ow, shit!

Bear Grylls: (consumes him) Did you get that on camera? Nice. The BBC will like this.

Jake: And now to the international avatar game debate with Rai'uk and Ryder!

Ryder: Yeah well, my plot may suck, but I got the big ass m60.

Ra'iuk: Nonsense! My wii game's in 3D!

Ryder: Okay… but at least I have free flying Ikrans. AND dual swords.

Katt: (holding dual swords) He's got a point.

Ra'iuk: That's it! (shoots him with an arrow)

Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT! WOOOOOO!

Adventus: Ryder, 3 Ra'iuk…. 271

_

* * *

Tantalus91_

_Dude, this is some funny shit. I cannot believe just how far you are willing to go to make the characters lives a living hell. Now for the dares... Jake has to tame Toruk the same way he did his banshee / Wainfleet has to go the entire chapter without saying the words "yeah", "get", or "some" / norm must assimilate into a pack of viper wolves. Let's see if wainfleet goes apeshit, shall we? (though in all probability, he probably already has.)_

* * *

Jake: Uh, okay. (walks up to his toruk)

Adventus: Wait for it…

Katt: (pushes him) Honestly! Useless!

Jake: AHHHHH! (gets annihilated)

Eywa: (doesn't blink) The violence… the gore… I never realised how nice it looked!

Adventus: NOW you're being one in the family.

Norm: (looks at viperwolves) Woof.

Viperwolf #1: Quaritch?

Viperwolf #2: Tastes like chicken!

Viperwolf #1: Tasty?

Viperwolf #3: Less talk, more eat!

Viperwolves: Heheheheheheh!

Norm: Help!

**5 more minutes of violence later!**

Adventus: Norm! Great source of red meat!

Wainfleet: (reads dare) Yeah, I can do that!

Adventus: Uh, Wainfleet?

Wainfleet: Eh?

Adventus: You just lost the game. (blasts him with a 12 gauge)

Katt: So, the next chapter is finally up?

Adventus: It's up. Now get your asses in the dormitory!

Eywa: What about the viperwolves?

Adventus: Feed em to Bob. I'm going to sleep.

* * *

HAHA! I'M BACK FOR MORE! Once again, send in ye reviews. I'll love you for it.

And, I'm thinking of a coming back present. A pairing. The one with the most votes will come in affect immediately.

Eve x Ryder? Eve is the female version of Adventus. An Authoress/Character relationship = controversy.

Quaritch x Grace? Old people. Eww.

Trudy x Jake? An Affair?

Please send me your votes.

Eywa Ngahu. Thanks for reading. This chapter was 3016 words.


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